As a parent, you’ve probably lost sleep wondering how your kids will navigate the wild, AI-driven future that’s barreling toward us—because let’s face it, the world’s changing faster than ever. Education and career paths lead into a hazy future, but there are time-tested, essential life skills you can teach your children to help them thrive in any situation. In this article, you’ll discover how to nurture their confidence and leadership qualities—skills that outshine mere academic success—and prepare them for a successful life.
In this post
The Shifting Landscape and Timeless Skills
A few years ago when our kids were much younger, I found myself in a rare, but justified, gloomy mood. I was thinking about my kids’ futures.
College costs have skyrocketed, far outpacing wage growth. College was right around the corner for our daughter — would we be able to afford it? And if she goes, what career path will provide stability in a world that feels anything but stable?
Would learning a trade be more practical? But which one? Like any parent, I want their futures to be secure—but what does that look like in an increasingly uncertain world?
Technology and AI are already changing our world more rapidly than we realize, but there is a certain skill set that practically ensures success no matter the career field or life path. They’re sometimes called “soft skills” — personal attributes and interpersonal abilities adaptable to all social and professional scenarios.
Help the Young Ones in Your Life Practice and Learn These Skills
Communication skills
Encourage your children to practice speaking with adults, such as ordering at restaurants or asking questions at the library. Activities involving public speaking or presentations are invaluable. Many Toastmasters clubs welcome young people, and our homeschooling group had its own club that followed the Toastmasters program, with kids giving speeches and learning a few debate skills along the way.
Even a simple job can help develop communication skills. My first job at J.C. Penney taught me how to communicate with customers, ask for help, and build confidence—skills I’ve used for life. Effective communication is the most important skill for lifetime success.
Creating a vision and goal setting
Kids have dreams, so encourage them to dream big! Help them break big goals into smaller, achievable steps. Whether it’s saving money for something they want or improving a subject at school, goal-setting builds confidence and teaches them to take action.
Once your child has a vision for something, help him or her break it down into smaller parts. Setting and achieving goals is an enormous confidence builder but too many people, including most adults, have no idea of the power of goal-setting.
Start with a small goal, perhaps earning a certain amount of money or achieving some specific goal in a school subject. Write out the goal and what has to be done in order to complete it. This teaches kids to know what they want and what has to be done to get it.
Courage and confidence
In a world that often rewards conformity, true leaders stand firm in their beliefs—even when it’s unpopular. Teach your kids to persevere through peer pressure and challenges. Courage isn’t just about big moments—it’s about finishing tough tasks and staying true to their values.
Confidence grows with competence. Require your kids to put forth their best effort, but don’t expect success without proper instruction. Whether it’s schoolwork or chores, make sure they know how to succeed. Repeated success builds lasting confidence.
Character and leadership
Teach your kids the value of kindness and encouragement. Let them see you model gratitude and compassion—whether it’s writing a note to someone who’s hurting or offering a kind word to a struggling friend.
People follow leaders they trust. Praise truthfulness and integrity whenever you see it. These values will build your child’s reputation and help them earn respect throughout life.
Decision making
Decision-making is learned through experience—including failure. Let your kids make choices, even if it means facing the consequences of poor ones. Discuss trade-offs and outcomes to help them think critically before making decisions.
I have a friend who decided what her daughter should wear each day until the girl was at least eleven years old. Yes, she was always perfectly coordinated, but without meaning to, I’m sure, her mother was teaching her to doubt her own decisions.
Part of learning to make smart decisions is bearing the consequences of poor ones. When my kid spend all their money foolishly, I don’t slip them a ten when they see something else they want! Let your kids make decisions and also learn to not rush into something without giving it plenty of thought.
Tips to Help You Do This
- Show them how it’s done: Kids copy what they see. So, if you want them to be good at talking to people or being brave, show them how you do it. Your actions teach them more than anything you say.
- Make it a safe and happy place: Let your kids know it’s okay to try and even mess up. Don’t yell or get too upset when they make mistakes. Help them develop a growth mindset.
- Say “good job” for trying, not just winning: Tell them you’re proud of them for working hard, even if they don’t get it perfect. This helps them learn that trying is important, and they’ll keep trying.
- Practice these skills every day: Find ways to use these skills in everyday life. For example, let them help decide what to buy at the store, or talk through problems with their siblings. Real-life practice makes these skills stick.
- Keep reminding them: Learning takes time. Keep talking about these skills and find ways for them to practice. Doing this over and over helps them become good habits.
Build a Talent Stack
In today’s world, having one exceptional skill might not be enough. The ‘talent stack’ concept suggests combining multiple good skills to create a unique and valuable skillset. Think of it like this: someone might not be the world’s best public speaker or the best writer, but being good at both creates a powerful combination.
For kids, this means encouraging them to explore different interests and develop a variety of abilities. When they combine skills like communication, problem-solving, and a specific hobby or interest, they build a unique talent stack that sets them apart and increases their adaptability in any career or life path.
How should these be taught?
- Point out examples of leadership in movies, TV, literature, and real life. It’s important to actually label the specific leadership skill or quality.
- Encourage your child to read biographies of famous people.
- When you observe these skills in your child, be sure to point them out.
- Give children an allowance in order to help them make decisions involving money. Teach them how to keep a ledger of income, outgo, and savings.
- Set family goals and track progress with a chart or a marble jar.
FAQ
Communication skills can be developed through practice. Start with small steps, like ordering food or asking simple questions.
Emphasize that failure is a learning opportunity. Discuss what went wrong and how to improve next time.
Start with small, safe decisions, and gradually increase the scope of their choices as they mature. Always maintain an open line of communication.
Give them tasks that they are capable of completing, but that require some effort. Ensure that they have the training to succeed.
Related Home And Family Content
- Are Your Kids Equipped to Handle These 7 Scary Situations
- 32 Mental and Urban Survival Skills for Kids
- Raising Prepared Kids: Homeschooling with a Focus on Survival Skills
- The Top Four Clubs that will Teach Kids Self-Reliance
Final Thoughts
These are things anyone can model, teach, and reinforce with the young people we love. You may not know what careers will be “hot” in the future, but that’s okay. Kids who develop these leadership traits will be ready to handle whatever life throws at them—and they’ll thrive, with or without an Ivy League education.
Here’s to a bright future for all our kids!
I’m sorry, but I’ve got to ask… Should it have been 8 Vital skills, or should two of them be combined?
Excellent post, ma’am. I see lists like that fairly often, but seldom are they accompanied by real life examples of how they can be applied in training and teaching the next generation. Without these basic building blocks, society ends up with what we see so much of now – “young adults” who cannot function in adult roles – but with no shortage of “self esteem”.
Always the southern gentleman… :o)
Yes, I added Decision Making at the very end and didn’t change my headline.
Glad you liked the article and my thought process.
You hit that one straight on the nail head. I thought you were going to speak about fire-making, water purification, etc. But the fundamentals of society and human existence do not change with turmoil in our society. In fact it only serves to more sharply define the need.
We need people who can reason, lead, communicate a vision, and organize people back into a functioning society. We don’t have to be facing TEOTWAWKI to need this; it is still a skillset we need today very desperately.
Having those skills doesn’t guarantee survival or thrival. But it optimizes the chances – not just for our children – but for everyone. And on the outside chance the worst happens, it is nice to know we can stand before God and give an account that says, “I did it the way you instructed us to”.
As best as I understand it, there is no “End of The Eternal Kingdom of Heaven as We Know It” (EOTEKOHAWKI).
I saw these truths as my son went through college (he will graduate in December).
Although he has natural skills in computer science, most of the scholarships he has won was because of leadership abilities in extra curricular organizations.
The Big Ten University he attends if full of brilliant students but few (especially in the Science field) have good communication and leadership skills.
For this upcoming semester, which will be his final semester unless he eventually decides to go on for a Master’s degree, he was surprised to win a Dean’s scholarship for leadership that was worth thousands of dollars!
For us I believe it was the opportunities homeschooling provided to encourage the above traits. While he had to take advanced math and science (at the community college) to be accepted at the University, we did not have to teach only to be tested.
Great list! I so often fail in encouraging/teaching/modeling all of theses ideals, but I try. I can only hope and pray that my children grow up to be the best that God has made them to be. I’ve always told them to look someone in the eye when they speak to them, especially grown ups and that manners matter. Your list made good breakfast conversation! Thanks!
Sandi
Nice column. However, having a college education and reliable skills and moral character traits are not mutually exclusive. One can have both. Thank goodness I returned to college in my mid thirties and got that degree because I never would have been able to earn the income I did, along with my husband, to enable us to attain our goals both financially and being self-sufficient. It’s not the path for everyone but it was a good journey for us. You can have that piece of paper and a reliable skill set together.
You forgot more basic skills. Learn to read. Learn to study. Learn to take tests. Learn to think critically.
You missed the whole point of this 1000+ word article, Ben. It’s about the importance of teaching leadership skills. Those don’t replace reading or multiplication, etc. but they ARE completely overlooked by the public school system, which produces the sheeple who populate the country today. I’m sure they can all read, study, etc., but they sure as heck don’t think critically.
Are you sure they all can read, study etc. You need to take a hard look at the current output of our Schools.
Donna, given the caliber of students the public teachers must deal with on a daily basis one can hardly place all the blame on the education system. Without a strong back up, as in parents, the teachers are left scrambling to teach students who cannot understand English, don’t complete assignments and if disciplined in school, face parents’ wrath.
It used to be that parents would follow up on their children’s behavior. That’s not the case anymore. Perhaps if more parents were less self absorbed, stopped insisting that everyone get a trophy for participation and understand that there are winners and losers at every game(and that’s okay) and realized that little Suzie and Johnny isn’t as special as they think then leadership skills will return. As will critical thinking.
I’m not that old(58) but the shenanigans that go on in public schools today would not have been tolerated in my day. For example, my youngest son is 28 and when he was in junior high he told me of a teacher that was slapped by a student. Wouldn’t you say that this was influenced by parental influence and not by the teacher?
Parents’ insistence that their child not fail, when oftentimes they deserve to fail, has had a negative effect on public education. There are often cases when they feel their children should attend college when they simply are not cut out for continuing courses in academics.
I’m a strong advocate of public education and feel it’s a worthwhile investment of my tax dollars. However I shudder at those who don’t take advantage of this gift and perpetuate the lifestyle of the generation that precedes them.
Teachers aren’t babysitters. Let them teach and make the parents step up to the plate and teach those leadership skills, ethics and moral codes. Isn’t that their job?
My job used to be going from classroom to classroom, observing the teaching skills of teachers. DO NOT GET MET STARTED on the subject of teacher competency!!!!! And this was in one of the largest school and most respected “conservative” districts in the Phoenix area, AND it was about 15 years ago! From what I hear and read, classroom conditions and student achievement haven’t exactly soared since then!
Perhaps it’s because they are forced to teach to the test, as is the case with mandatory MCAS requirements here in MA. I happen to know several very good teachers and dislike the broadbrush statements against both public schools and higher education. As pointed out earlier having a college degree and general skills, morals and ethics are not mutually exclusive. Not trying to be argumentative but the onus of responsibility does not lie solely with the teachers or school systems.
No. I was in classrooms from August through May, and saw all kinds of incompetence. There are some hard working, effective teachers out there, to be sure, but there are no easy answers. The problem has become too big to blame any one factor.
I just finished college and few of my classmates/teachers could
1-Reason
2-Think or Create
3-Justify or explain a point of view
4-Form conclusions or judgements by facts or premise. Always fell back to the “it isn’t fair” argument.
5- Change an opinion by clear, logical dissent. It usually ended up a screaming match over ethnicity, religion, or being one of the “haves”.
6-Hard facts were irrelevant-emotion was everything.
I wonder how some of those people are going to fair when they actually need to fulfill a job requirement. No wonder we are in the political/financial/world crisis that we are in.
Back in the day, colleges were supposed to produce our, “future leaders of America.” It’s pretty sad that 16 years of public education has produced pretty much nothing but a huge herd of sheeple.
What? Teaching a child firearms safety and marksmanship was no where on the list. It should be at or near the top of the list.
You missed the whole point of the article. It was about the importance of teaching leadership skills.
I understand the point of your article, but I would like to offer this in Sam’s defense:
“A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.”
–Thomas Jefferson, letter to Peter Carr, August 19, 1785
Best leadership examples are set by parents in everyday life. Many times, I heard parents complain about what they have to get for their kids becasue all their friends families do. How then, can we expect our children act to their own minds, and resist peer pressure?!
Knowledge can advance life, and characters building is the foundation. Without strong foundation, no house can last.
None of that gets you hired.
Being a member of the connected class gets you hired. That’s all it takes: being in. The rest of us are condemned to eat crap.
Live it up, connected class. Revenge is coming. Justice is coming.
Yeah, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Old observation. Excuses nothing. Get the book “Never Eat Alone” and learn how to meet and get to know the people who can assist you in life. And be one. When you meet people, be much more interested in what you can contribute than in what you can get.
Yes and no. In my own experience, I have known no one of influence and yet have been hired several times in my career. On the other hand, I do know the One with the most influence, and doors He opens cannot be shut.
An often used excuse for failure. Enjoy being a victim. Unfortunately, it will get you nowhere.
The way things are looking, I predict that leadership will only be accepted if it is manifested within the construct established for us by the Powers That Be. So unless a budding leader uses his or her leadership to tout the party line, that leader will be branded a terrorist, domestic extremist, or some other moniker of national fright. E.g., discover a cure for AIDS and you will be hailed as a national hero; discover a cure for cancer and you will be assassinated. So any budding leader will also have to be able to decide between working within the establishment’s paradigm or against it — using his/her leadership skills to promote the state, its agenda, and dependence on it or to promote skills and mindset in opposition to it and its agenda.
The skills most needed in America in our future may well be akin to those taught by Sarah Connor to her son, John Connor (Terminator films). I think it’s likely that people who sit in front of a computer all day are the ones who will be out of luck when the dollar collapses. Those are the ones who, as Michael Bunker put it in his book “Surviving Off Off-Grid”, will not be viable. I think the skills that will be needed most are things like farming (fruits, vegetables, meat, dairy), hunting, skinning, gardening, nursing/doctoring, herbalist, veterinarian, machinist, sewing, canning, electrician, plumbing, gunsmithing, carpentry, beekeeping, etc., …and TRAINING. An important aspect of leadership is that one must be able to do the things s/he proposes to lead others in, which is why having the right skillset for our near-term future will be important.
And on that note, I agree that all the things you listed are great ideas to get the next generation moving in the right direction.
Peace
Interesting perspective. Thanks.
Hello, Lisa. Great topic!! The issue/topic of leadership has long been near and dear to my heart. It’s a topic that ignites a passion in me and I absolutely love the privilege I have had through the years to work beside/under great leadership. I’m frustrated by your commenters who have missed the point of this article.
First, I will tell you that I am a school counselor in a very diverse middle school. I’ve seen good teachers and I’ve seen teachers who should have retired after their first year and yet decades later are still in the classroom. THIS IS CHANGING, halleluiah. I also work with phenomenal teachers who only continue to get better. Unfortunately, so much of teaching now is about teaching to the test or to improve the test scores. There is so little focus on learning and the joy of it. I concur almost 100% with commenter, Lynda, and see what she sees daily. I see great teaching every day, but I also see kids with no desire to learn. It is so hard to instill that desire in a person who wants everything handed to them, rather than working for it and knowing the joy of having done so and succeeded.
I have long desired to focus on teaching kids leadership skills and how to be leaders and do so, yet am limited in what I am able to do because of the fire constantly under public education. The public is not interested in the work I do around leadership because what they look at are the Math and English scores. I keep fighting the fight, but you must understand that it is an uphill battle and I have to work hard to convince others that this is a topic worthy of focus because they don’t have the foresight to see that this, too, can positively impact test scores.
This article is exceptional and I would like to steal from it, if I may, as I start developing a webpage for our counseling program. I would use bits and pieces, giving credit where credit is due, and would seek your approval of the final product. Please email me if this is acceptable to you.
I would also like to respond to those who say it’s who you know, not leadership that gets the job. Phooey. Like others said, that’s just an excuse and gets one nowhere. Over the course of 30+ years since high school, eight big moves across three states and 1,000 miles, and at least nine job changes, NOT ONE JOB was gotten as a result of who I knew. I got the jobs because of my common sense, integrity, enthusiasm, carefully honed skills, and my leadership ability. I worked hard to be exceptional and it paid off.
Thank you.
Lisa, this is a great article. Remember no matter what this world dishes out we have a God who can sympathize with our weaknesses when we feel the sting of this world. I love this song, “This world is not my home I’m just a pass-in through my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.” by Jim Reeves. As a Christian, the world is not my home but I’ll do the best I can while I am here.
I feel instilling in our children the heart of Godly leadership is so important. My two older boys are attending Boy Scouts and one of them is working toward Eagle. I love how he is learning so many things as a scout including leadership. They are also teaching so many life and survival skills too. I personally feel for this generation growing up. They face a world unlike anything we’ve seen. But I know I will fight till the end to give them the best chance possible. DisasterMOM
Great article. I agree that leading your child to lead will allow them to be the best they can be. Seems that now I have turned 30, I continually analyze and adapt my parenting methods. Thank you for your thoughts! Too often it seems parents are just trying to keep behavior in check and not making the time to work on these other types of skills.
I absolutely love your article and think your conclusion that learning leadership skills is the one thing they can benefit from no matter what path they take. I have battled the same dilemma regarding my 7-year-old son and added that he also needs to know how to make good decisions and know right from wrong. While he will learn Biblical right from wrong at church, I also want him to know how to do so in less blatant ways such as in everyday situations. There is an amazing site (http://www.sfk.org) with free lessons in doing just this – basically in helping children reach their full potential by mastering the rules of life as they put it. We have a lot of fun watching the video lessons and doing the activities after.
I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
What a great article! I love the topics that you covered and how to follow through with them in our daily lives. However, in my experience most of society considers leaders to be bold outgoing people. I disagree with this. While a leader may be outgoing and social it is not needed. Some of our best thinkers are those who shut themselves away before coming up with something world changing. My point being that introverts are just as valuable as our outgoing leaders are. Leaders need to recognize others strengths and weaknesses and how to utilize them and build them up. Just something to consider when teaching your children about this topic.
Good article. I would only add that we should be careful when we point out examples of good leadership. Many of the examples of good leadership are ‘sanitized’ super-human versions of real people. In order for children, or anyone, to use an example, the example must portray a real person rather than the legend that is often provided in the media. We often excuse our own shortcomings by noting that we are not super-human.