Self-reliance isn’t something most kids pick up at school anymore. It has to be taught at home, on purpose, and starting early. This covers five practical ways to build that culture in your family: thriftiness, independence, industriousness, skills and knowledge, and self-reliance. The families who live these principles daily are the ones who won’t be caught flat-footed when things get hard.
Once a long time ago, kids learned skills like homemaking, sewing, and carpentry work in public schools. When I was in 7th grade, many years ago, we learned how to correctly clean a stainless steel sink (vingegar, every time!) and make a pie from scratch. Times have changed, and if parents want their children to learn to become self-reliant, it’s something we need to do in the home. Fortunately, there are many simple ways for parents to cultivate and teach self-reliance.
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We have all known people who save everything. One great-grandmother I know of was one of them. If there were four green beans left in the pot, she would put them in the freezer. She always had a jar of bacon grease in the refrigerator — something I now do myself.
Grandma had grown up during the Great Depression. Those habits were so deeply ingrained in her when young, they lasted a lifetime. This made me wonder, what can we do to promote a similar culture of self-reliance in our families?
In this post
Why We Need to Promote Self-Reliance in Our Families Today
In the past decade or so, most of us have become addicted, or nearly so, to our smartphones and other screens. Our kids and grandkids have it even worse, with teachers saying things like this, “I cannot get kids to sit down and read a book for 15 minutes without them itching to go on their phones.”
Over 40% of American teens, 13-17, say they’re online “almost constantly” and kids as young as 2, get their first tablet. Teacher friends of mine call them, “tablet kids” — as in, kids who can’t seem to focus on schoolwork and have poor basic skills.
Along with this, life has become easier and more convenient than ever. A young person can live for decades without ever learning traditional skills, like sewing, setting up a campsite, or cooking a meal from scratch.
It wasn’t too long ago when life wasn’t so convenient. Many in our society have lost the mindset that our grandparents had. We have instant and immediate food, entertainment, communication, and information. Instant everything, it seems. Many feel that things will always be as good as they are now, but history does repeat itself. Perhaps one of the most important things we can do is prepare the next generation for whatever may come. With AI changing our world at a blinding pace, there’s no way to predict what their lives will be like even five or six years from now.
Fortunately, inside the four walls of your home, you can make self-reliance and preparedness part of your own family’s culture. One of the most effective ways to do this is to live it every day. Whether we have children of our own or are involved in an organization such as a church or school, we have the power to instill preparedness values. Now is the time for us to equip the younger generation with skills and a mindset that will help them be confident and prepared for anything life may throw at them.
Five Ways to Promote Self-reliance in Your Family
There are at least five ways to increase this mindset:
Thriftiness and Frugality
The longstanding adage “Eat it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without”, still holds true today. The importance of being thrifty and frugal is often forgotten. Clothes can be mended, altered and remade into other items. I have seen curtains reused to cover chairs, a table cloth became pillow covers and adult size clothes were remade into clothes for a younger child. Learn ways to take other household items and re-purpose them.
Another way to pinch pennies is to find out where all of your pennies are going. There are many forms online that can be used to assist in budgeting. Record your family’s expenses for one month and then gather together to review them. Are there any non-essentials that can be eliminated? Involve family members in creating a budget. Teach them to differentiate between wants and needs and set financial goals together. Save money for a vacation or purchase that the whole family can enjoy. Budget additional funds to be set aside for large purchases, holidays, and for emergencies. Teach your kids now that it is not worth “keeping up with the Joneses.”
To that, model a “buy it for life” mindset. Look for the highest quality products available, those that are meant to last, like Keen boots, cast iron skillets, and Klein tools. Emphasize how cool it is to have the same Kenmore washer your mom had, instead of replacing it with a new, fancier model from a brand whose quality declined years ago after it was bought out by a private equity firm. That newer washer will last five years, if you’re lucky.
Independence
This would include independence from anything that prevents us from living to our full potential. Avoid any habits or addictions that restrict your body and mind. Eat healthy, exercise, surround yourself with good friends, and strengthen yourself spiritually and mentally.
Look at your finances. What can you do to be financially independent? Don’t get in the habit of using credit for purchases. Many people look at the monthly payment amount versus the real amount of an item. If you have debt, pay it down now. There are many websites available to help accomplish this.
Time is another area where you can be independent. Choose how to prioritize and use it wisely, which would include helping others. Teach this next generation the importance of being kind and charitable. Donate money and time to projects you feel are worthwhile. There are many opportunities available in your own community or help out with a need on the other side of the world. Either way, you will develop a deeper empathy towards others and an appreciation for what you have.
Industriousness
Being industrious takes effort. So does finding creative solutions and keeping your life in balance. Take a moment to reflect on your current life circumstances. Search for ways to be resourceful. You may discover talents you did not know you had.
Are there any enterprising opportunities available that you could take advantage of? Another source of income could benefit you and those around you. It’s worth exploring ways to enhance your marketability in the workplace, whether that involves completing a long-pursued degree, enrolling in community classes, or even tapping into the wealth of free online courses that are readily available.
Skills and Knowledge
We all know someone who can fix just about anything. Chances are, they didn’t acquire these skills overnight; rather, they invested time and effort into honing them. Like them, you need to continue to learn and put what you learn into practice, and doing this as a family builds rapport, connections, and memories.
Through the magic of the internet, with a simple click, we can access tutorials and guides on a wide array of topics, from basic car maintenance to home repairs, first aid, and taking care of what we already own. Not only can you save money by doing these things yourself, you are free from depending on others to do them for you.
Few things feel better than finally figuring out how to do something yourself. For example, planting your own garden. A garden cuts your grocery bill and puts fresh vegetables on the table, but also offers much greater benefits. Gardening, along with other tasks, allow you to spend time with those close to you. Whether you’re working alongside a child, friend, or fellow community member, the act of coming together to learn and achieve shared goals forms stronger bonds. There is a sense of togetherness and learning that you cannot get anywhere else.
As you develop your skills, don’t forget the importance of passing them on. In a world where knowledge transfer often occurs through formal education or online platforms, personal guidance and mentorship hold significant value. When you teach your kids these skills, you’re passing down the same know-how our grandparents took for granted. After all, if we don’t teach our own kids as many skills as we can, who will?
Self-Reliance
Aim towards having at least three month’s of food. This may seem like a daunting task, but it’s an achievable goal when approached systematically. The key is to take measured steps and not let the process overwhelm you. Let’s break it down into manageable stages to help you create a well-stocked supply while also saving money on groceries and essentials.
Make a list of the amounts of food and commodities that your family normally consumes in one day. Take that list and multiply it by 7. That is your one week supply. When you have a one week supply stored, continue until you have three months supply. Use and rotate your 3 month supply. Then focus on long term storage. Use these tips to help you save money on groceries.
Many foods, such as grains, beans, and pasta can have a shelf life of 30+ years. Clothing can be a bit of a challenge if you have growing kids. Looking at clearance racks and thrift stores can be an inexpensive way to work on storing clothes and shoes. If you sew, fabric is also be a great addition to your years supply.
Final Thoughts
It’s weird to think that my family has been living a counter-culture lifestyle for almost two decades now. We didn’t intend for that to happen. It just came naturally as part of our homeschool. Our kids learned to grind wheat, practice target shooting, camp, fish, do their own laundry, and could probably run our household by the time they hit their early teen years. Any family, on any income and living in any type of circumstance can do the same, but it takes time and patience. Developing self-reliance skills and a mindset in our kids and grandkids is priceless and worth it.
Originally published 5/27/2016, updated June, 2026.
Great reminder article, or beginner’s article. I use all five principles. Just wish my husband did too. His method of dealing with everything is to spend money, or rather, put it on the credit card. He does stockpile useful things, but can never find it when he needs it so off to the store where he buys what he needs and more.
We’re going on 70 & 72 and really need to get back to the principles of being frugal, self-sufficient and sustainable. He will have the money to survive if I die, I will have to count every penny if he dies. Guess who will have the easier time of it?
Great article! My wife and I homeschool our kids, and we’re also involved with Boy Scouts. That has really helped our kids think of survival skills in a fun environment.
Check out Trail Life USA as an alternative to scouts, you may find it more compatible with home schooling values.
I hate to say that I agree with “we need another Depression,” but we really do. The young people of today have no idea how to work with their hands, eat simple foods, or make do with something used. If you know “kids” in their teens and twenties, ask them if they have a church key or can hem a pair of pants. Have they ever used a hand saw or seen a sickle up close? I tried offering some household goods to a young woman who was moving into her first apartment, and she looked at me like I’d grown 2 heads. She was going to buy new everything. How was she paying? Credit card. I’m glad that our children have access to the finer things in life, but what’s going to happen to them if we go the way of Argentina and Venezuela?
We are planning on taking our kids on a lengthy trip overseas and one of my motivations is that my son, in particular, sees how other people live in complete poverty.
Survival Mom, you don’t have to go too far to see poverty in a third-world country. Mexico is at our doorstep. You can see extreme poverty in the border city of Reynosa (across the border from McAllen), I know this personally, because my mother has been a missionary there for 25 years.