Teach Your Kids to be Survivors, not Prey!
I have never been one to sing in the shower, but behind the wheel of my Tahoe, I become a lecturer extraordinaire. Some of my greatest lectures, sadly undocumented, have been given while driving my kids to and from field trips and swim meets. I wanted to pass along to you my latest, greatest lecture because it was a message of personal safety that really hit home with my kids. It went something like this. (Keep in mind that my kids are 8 and 10 years old.)
“Kids, see that teenage girl over there on the sidewalk? What do you notice about her? That’s right, she’s talking on her cellphone. Is she paying any attention to what’s going on around her? No, that’s right. Look how she’s walking. It’s kind of a slow shuffle isn’t it?
If I were a bad person, someone looking to hurt someone else, that girl would be my prey. Yep. Just as there are predators and prey in the animal world, there are predators and prey in the human world.
photo by Claudio Gennari
Think about wildlife out on a prairie. Imagine a little bunny snuffling along looking for tender leaves and blades of grass for nibbling. He has his head down, focused on what’s directly in front of his little wet nose. Now imagine a gopher not far away. This little guy’s back is straight, his ears are perked up, his head is looking this way and that. If you were a hawk, soaring high above these two little animals, which would be the better prey? That’s right! The little rabbit. He’s oblivious to danger, just as that girl is oblivious to what is happening around her.
I guess the first rule of personal safety is to not be in dangerous places in the first place, especially alone. Those would be places like playing in a park all by yourself, riding your bike alone, or being alone outside after dark. If you avoid those types of places, you’re already looking less like prey. That girl is walking alone along a busy street, passing parked cars and bushes where a bad guy could hide out. Of course she wouldn’t know he was there until it was too late.
Whenever I’m out and about, I keep my back straight, I walk with strong steps, and I’m always looking at everything and everyone around me. If I were busy texting messages and stumbling along, I’d be the perfect prey. Instead, if a bad guy was watching me, he would know that I wouldn’t be an easy prey, that I’d put up a fight, and that I’d be able to identify him because, if I passed him, I would look directly in his eyes.
Those are the things I want you kids to always do. That’s the second rule of personal safety. Walk with your back and head straight up. Look at people in the eye. Don’t be on the phone or so busy talking with friends that you don’t see what, and who, is around you. Keep in mind that you want to be the gopher and not the rabbit.
Finally, if you are ever grabbed or approached by someone you don’t know or you have a bad feeling about, you have my permission to fight like HELL! (You should have seen the quick glances they gave each other when I used that word!) If they tell you to be quiet, you start screaming, spitting, whatever! (They were delighted with this information and began, immediately, to plan what they would do to the next bad guy foolish enough to accost them.)
Bad guys are actually cowards. They want to do their bad deeds in secret and fear getting caught. If their prey suddenly begins screaming and drawing attention, they will most likely run away. Make sure that you are not an easy prey.
So, what are the three rules for personal safety?”
I’m happy to report that my two students both received an A+ on this lesson.
There are so many examples in nature we can use to teach important lessons to our kids. I wrote about this recently in a post titled, “5 Creative Ways to Teach Preparedness.” Think about a lesson you want them to learn and then match an example from nature to that lesson. Many of Aesop’s Fables do this, and look how long they’ve been around!
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Right on Lisa .My children are very aware and has also received similar lectures..side note
I have told my children not to yell "Help" but to give information or instruction. For example "This is not my dad
I am being taken!" or "Call 911 Now!" and to yell out their first name. This will scare off the abductor and at the same time the eyewitness(s) can call 911 w/ a description and a name. My son is trained in self defense and in turn has instructed his sister. Great post!
Good post, the only thing I might add is to keep it simple, the military has this down to an art form.
In our case I teach 3 things in this order: eyes, throat and groin. The first goal is to blind so make the first attack count, then to obstruct breathing and lastly if not able to do the first two go for the groin. Since I have 3 daughters I always teach them early that contrary to some self defense classes that are publicized you cannot overpower or 'control', disabiling the attacker to mitigate the attack is option one. One other item that might help give them an appreciation is for your husband to give them a full on push and/or forceful tackle with his weight. Make sure there is plenty of padding on their person or the ground. My daughters got a deeper appreciation for the power a man can wield when I did that with them once.
Great post and some great ideas in the comments as well! I've had similar conversations with my daughter, also age 8, who has asked at various times why I leave more room between my car and the one in front of me when other drivers are tailgating, as well as why I stand a certain way in public, why I watch around us at the park, and any number of other behaviors that she has noticed me performing that other parents are not.
I have to show my two kids this. They would laug and then they might be in shock that there could possibly be any other person in this world that is like their own mom. They might actually be a little afraid.
Kidding. When my kids were growing up I had no choice but to preach/lecture at any opportune moment. Using whatever tools the world threw my way. Be it something on tv or the lone girl walking down the street on her own cell phone. Thank you so much for having this site and for helping me feel not alone in my own work, to get my family to a better stance as well as anyone who might listen. I love your site. You are the one doing all the hard work. Now all I have to do is share your site with anyone interested.