Sep132012
21 Comments
Survival Survey: A single mom wants advice for bugging out in a crisis
Print 
PDF
image by Fifth World Art
When it comes to survival and being prepared, single moms may have the toughest job of all. Just by virtue of being a woman, they’re more vulnerable than their counterparts, single dads. One of my Facebook friends, Tiffany, asked this question, and I wanted to throw it out to you.
My question is for single moms with young children. Specifically for bugging out. I have a Bug Out Bag, and I will soon be getting a heavy duty wagon but it just doesn’t seem logical that I can drag my 2 year old plus supplies a very long distance. Any advice if I have to get out of Dodge?
Well, Survival Moms? What advice, reassurance, and tips can you offer Tiffany?
© 2012, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.
(21) Readers Comments
Leave a Reply
Space-Saving and Effective Sub-Irrigated Planters (SIPS)
Mosquitos are definitely an issue with this type of design. There are
Space-Saving and Effective Sub-Irrigated Planters (SIPS)
mine has a watering tube running up the inside wall of the pot, which
Space-Saving and Effective Sub-Irrigated Planters (SIPS)
How do you control for mosquitos breeding in the stagnant water at the
Elaine
Carries up to 40# child http://www.amazon.com/Chicco-Smart-Support-Back-Pack/dp/B0026Q3KNK/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1347571128&sr=1-2
Good luck!
Use fannypack for things you can not live without from your BOB. Use a wagon for the rest. Arranging things this way means if you are in a situation where you have to move quickly out of danger, you can carry your child and still have both hands free for another bag or for defense purposes. I’m a single mom too.
SIngleMom
How long a distance are you planning to go, or are you thinking worst-case scenario? I like Elaine’s suggestion, but I also like wagons. For me, pulling something with wheels is much easier than packing it on my back. A lot also depends on whether or not you’re planning to take a lot of things with you or just escape the immediate area with the basic necessities. My kids are old enough to carry me now, so I wish you the best of luck if you ever need to bug out.
zoomer
One child? Large backpack bugout bag with a detachable day pack. Clothes, food, hygiene, and emergency supplies. Get something to protect yourself with, train with it, and be willing to use it. A portable HAM radio (also get a license) will help you keep in contact with help.
Modes of transport? Car. Bike rack on car. Bike with foldable bike trailer to carry the child and supplies. Last option to hike out on foot (with or without the trailer).
Best chances for survival of you and your child? Pre-plan bugouts with like-minded other adults (adopt another single parent or even another family). Bugging in or bugging out is usually much safer and easier in groups.
There are times when groups have to break up, but I’d suggest pre-selected rally points to re-join. I assign ours by code. For example, going West might be an “A”, and the third rally point from Chicago to the West might be Rockford, IL. So we’d designate a rally point A3 for a maximum of 96 hours in the future. If we can safely stay, we will, but if we have to move but can stay a bit, it will be a maximum of 96 hours before we’ll assume any others couldn’t make it. Pre-planning might mean we’d still hope to see you at rally point A18 (say, Marshalltown, IA) in four weeks if you couldn’t catch up.
Using that HAM radio, if conditions are dangerous, we can alter plans by calling out the new designated rally code. It still has security risks, but is doable and fairly secure.
More than one child? Bugging out will be much harder. There comes a saturation point where you MUST have friends or family to help. Bugging in may be the safest thing. Having a connection to a church that helps and cares for people (a rarity these days) is an almost essential option. They are out there, and they want to know you and your children…they really do care.
BTW – you already know finding a guy just to have a guy around is more often a liability than a help. We have a really good friend that divorced her husband (she had reasons) only to find out she couldn’t make it as a single mom. Sadly, she married a man twice as bad as her ex.
Charley
This is good advice. Finding other people you can buddy up with always seems like a smart idea. If you get a wagon to pull make sure it has large wheels. They will work best over any type ground. Same goes if you are pulling it behind a bike. Depending on the number of children and ages even a stroller with large wheels could work. They can carry quit a bit. Best case if you HAVE to bug out is with your vehicle. A tank of gas can get you pretty far and it gives you a safer place to sleep.Not to mention the ability to carry more supplies. I think if anything does happen people will naturally cluster into groups. Despite our wanting to be self sufficient we are social animals. We want and need the help and company of others.
E K
I agree with Zoomer – finding a group you can trust, and plan, plan, plan as much as you can – what situations would you bug out for? Be ready to recognize signs before it happens. And don’t be afraid to bug out early and come back if you need to…better to be safe than sorry. Have your destination chosen beforehand. And meeting points along the way, so if you separate, you can try to link back up…Don’t feel that you need to link up specifically with other singles – families with older kids can help with yours, etc. And lastly, if you can, get a dog. Dogs can be trained to pull weight, they can carry packs, and offer an extra defense if you need. We’ve trained both of our dogs to carry packs, and one of them to pull a wagon….
Mir
Bike!! A good mountain bike with a good double trailer. It would depend on how much gear and how far you were looking to go, but you could also look at a family bike like the Kangaroo or another cargo bike.
For just a two year old, I would get light, simple mountain bike with lined on/off road tires, a wide, super light double convertible trailer like the Burley D’Lite, and a toddler seat for the front of the bike, like the iBert or WeeRide. That way you can carry more as needed, move your child to the bike for safety or a change of scenery, and if you had to dump your bike for some reason, your trailer converts to a heavy duty stroller (that fols up totally flat when not being used). Most trailers have a 100 lb weight limit. That’s a good bit of gear!
Also, you can by electric motors to help keep you going, and they sell pedal-powered cell chargers.
Fortify all your tires with liners, but parts are easy to take with you for repairs if you were to get a flat. Be sure to ride often so you’re able to tow a load as needed!
Tiffany
I am assuming that if I ever had to Bug out that I would not be able to go back to my home. In the event that roads are damaged beyond travel, they are blocked, or they are dangerous, the backpack would be best but I know I would have a 35# max if that! 25# is my daughters current weight so that leaves only 10# for supplies and that number gets smaller as she gains weight. That’s why I was thinking the best thing for me would be a wagon. I read somewhere that it should be two adults to every child when towing a wagon so each person could take a break and not get tired out so fast (I wish I remembered where I read that) but I still think if it took twice as long this would be the best option. I am starting to think that I need to start hiking with my daughter in a pack or a wagon with my Bug out Bag. I think I really need to start experimenting with these ideas.
SilentNightPrepper
First I’m a man, but I have a sister (with a crazy ex) who travels alone with two little girls. She utilizes this “Free” host/surf site:
Couch Surfing
it’s got tons of sub-groups, for single parents and female travelers where you can find other single females/parents to host you if you so choose.
There are lots of groups where people volunteer to help for free too. Wife and I volunteer, no prep group yet, think I’ll make one
Hope it’s ok that I posted here (even though I’m not a single parent) my sister uses this to travel for free all over the country.
Winnie
I would either go with the bike with a double kid trailer or an exercise stroller with the 3 all-terrain tires. The bike would help you get out of dodge faster, but using the all-terrain exercise stroller now would allow you to strengthen yourself ahead of future any problems. Having both if you could afford them would be the best idea. Also the ham radio someone brought up is excellent advice.
I’m impressed that you are thinking ahead like this, being a single Mom must be very time consuming for you not to mention handling all of the typical parent worries by yourself. Good for you! I hope you have a good support system to lend you a hand.
Winnie
Gee, I didn’t mean to insult any single Moms out there. I know how hard it is just being a Mom with two parents in the house. I’m impressed when I see others who are strong and on top of things.
Jen
I have lots of good ideas! I am a single mom of 3 kids. It is COMPLETELY possible to bug out with kids, even as an only parent without help. You may have to think differently then other preppers, but with some thought as to your usual coping skills you can make it work.
I intend to first bug-in… unless I have enough warning to drive to my secondary location. If not, or the weather is bad, it will be bug-in until its feasible. I live where there is a HUGE chance of horrible snow.
This makes ideas of wagons, strollers or bikes an impossible thing.
The best thing to do is kinda look to the past and other cultures. Children were/are treated like an extension of the parent. When you have to bug out, this is a situation you will want to create. You won’t want your child to be easily separated from you. You will want to be carrying them. As well, it will help your child stay calm, quiet and as unafraid as possible. This is ideal for careful silent bugging out. Yes, carrying a 2yr old can feel heavy. I know. But you will be able to balance that by putting your bug out bag on the opposite side of your body your child is on. Or, if in my case there is snow I can pull a sled behind me with the gear, or build a travois in warmer weather. You are going to want a strong child carrier. This means you will want a Mei-Tai, or a wrap, possibly a Soft Structured carrier. Keep in mind, you don’t want thick straps that will get in the way of your bag straps.
Keep the theme of parental extension in all things. Kids that small don’t need their own bug out bag filled with their own variations of each item… for example, My bag has all the gear I need. Stove, sleeping bag, bivy, bag, food, water filter… My elder daughter is old enough to have the same. But my younger 2 kids? Won’t be capable of carrying or using that stuff. I have chosen to pair a small child with an older one. I will have the littlest, and my eldest is paired with the other one. So, my littles have small packs with water, a bit of food, clothes, and a few other things. They will share and double with what is carried by myself and my eldest. EG: I have a bivy bag in my bug out bag. That means I will be sharing my sleeping bag and bivy bag with my small child. It will keep us warmer, smaller, quieter and very close. We don’t need 4 first aid kits, so the big bags will each have one, and the littles will have a much smaller condensed easily used version.
All mine are old enough to walk, but I will still be bringing a carrier for my youngest in case she gets tired. Also, it means I will be able to carry someone in case of injury.
For smaller children think of things like extended breastfeeding. Breastmilk can sustain a child form much much longer even without solid foods. Again, look into the past or other cultures to see how survival can be helped in those types of ways. You won’t need batteries for a baby swing, don’t stock up on that… instead hang a hammock and swing your baby by hand. You may want disposable diapers while you are walking… but at your location, cloth might be much easier to use. You won’t have the issue of having to find more later on.
So, I guess just some reassurance from me, that it is beyond possible to bug out with even very tiny children, but that you will have to be more creative in your planning. Most ideas I get from other preppers simply will not work for me. I find that most advice I get is from non-parents who have never though of all the intricacies of small babies. Take what you hear, and make it work for you.
Nicki
My daughter is two and a half, I’m very proud to say that she’s completely off diapers. When her older brother was younger, I didn’t start training until he was 3 and a half. But now, with all the information on SHTF I thought it safer to start as soon as possible. It took her two full months to become completely free of diapers and now she can have an occasinal accident. It took me two weeks to get my son off his diapers. So, it is messier to start early, but it feels good right now and I don’t have to buy any diapers any more.
Dustin
I suggest a network of friend and family, as well as considering pre-positioning provisions if possible. When traveling, your attention will be on your child – natural, of course, but may be used against you in a time of crisis. Being able to move light and fast during any time of day or weather should be tantamount, so focus on the very basics needed to keep you and your child safe and alive:
Regarding the how, I suggest http://www.amazon.com/Bug-Out-Vehicles-Shelters-Life-Saving/dp/1569759790 – excellent book!
ColoradoGrizzly
You cannot travel on foot more than a mile, maybe two with small children. They tire and simply cannot do it. In severe weather the time/distance would be much shorter. And THEN what–even if you make it 3 miles, which would be a feat with little ones–you’d be in a very dangerous situation. Depending on the part of the country you live in, people might be more neighborly and help. Other parts, you may be placing yourself and kids in a really dangerous situation on foot. Stranger danger is a real problem in any emergency situation. If you can find community–even 3-4 other moms or families to associate with (maybe try Meetups in your area–google for it, or people from church or work) then you can go it as a group. Trust your instincts about people, but please plan ahead as much as you can and don’t just trust anyone.
Cheryl
If you are planning to have to use a baby/child carrier, be sure you are using it daily now. We adopted a 2yo and I thought I would be able to carry her in my backpack carrier. I could not do it as I had not been used to gradually carrying the additional weight from small baby to child.
Tom
Another not woman here.
Whatever you settle on, you might want to start playing some games that encourage silence. Whether it’s spotting things or being quiet IS the game. Maybe short walks / strollering looking for birds / bugs / colors etc.
If your child can develop the habit of being quiet, it can really help if you try to travel without being noticed.
It’s great that you’re thinking ahead & planning. Keep up the good work!
Magpie57
Lots of single moms live on a very tight budget, many know very little about maintaining their vehicle and are reluctant to spend money on routine car maintanence when there are so many other expenses. Having a vehicle that is reliable and will get you and your children away from danger could be life-saving. Keep your main vehicle in good shape – scheduled oil changes, no bald tires, replace your car battery every two years or so rather than when it stops working and always keep your gas tank at least half full. Keep a jumper cable set, spare tire, jack, lug wrench and an empty gasoline container in the trunk of your car. Invest in a cell phne charger for your vehicle and make sure you have the right size child safety seats for each of your younger children. All the preparation in the world will be for nothing if your car won’t start and you can’t evacuate out of a dangerous area.
Stand
It is easier to pull than push. A harness that hooks to the wagon will make pulling it MUCH easier. I have pulled my little ones in the wagon and the position is not natural using the handle. It you can load the wagon and try it out before buying it. Some are much more prone to tiping than others. check stability in tight turns and if the front wheels come off the ground when pulling it especilly up hill.
I tried on of the backpack carriers and did not like it. I bought it used so it was not a lot of wasted money. It was hard to get on and off by myself and it put the child up too high raising my center of gravity. The traditional carrier mentioned above sound like a much better option. The other question is can your knees and hips take the extra weight?
I would also recommend a “Don’t be a Victim Class” of some type. What to watch for, where to walk and other situational awareness things that you may not have thought about before.
People do not rise to the occasion they fall back on their training.
God Bless and good luck
Natalie
I am not a single mom, I am a married mother of a three year old and 1 year old. One of our bugout stratagies (in the event of not being able to use a car) is a heavy duty wagon. I don’t plan on having my kids in it though. I am a strong believer in keeping the most important things on your person. My hsband will be backpacking our three year old and I will be backpacking our 1 year old. We will each be wearing a vest that can have some basic gear strapped to it (a canteen, an MRE, a small sewing kit, a small fishing kit, emergency blanket, knife, leatherman, matches, and weapon of choice). If we had to abandon the wagon we could do so easily with little remorse and still have our hands free. Another good option if you have a bike is to get a child carrier that can attach to the back of your bike. This greatly increases your speed while allowing you to carry roughly the same amount of gear, whether you still backpack your child or have him or her ride in the carrier. Just remember the the sayoing “keep the items closest to your heart, closest to your heart.” It’s harder to take something off your torso than it is to pry it from your hands, and harder to pry it from your hands than to take something you’re not holding.
pioneerprepper
It depends on how far you have to go and what the situation is. If you can get out in advance (i.e. before everyone else evacuates before a storm or just before the economy totally collapses while everyone else still wanders cluelessly), Pack your car and get out quick. The longer you wait, the more dangerous it will become. If you wait, it could be as annoying as being stuck in a traffic jam full of other evacuees miles long or as horrifying as trying to fight your way out with bullets whizzing by your head. However, there is the fact that something could destroy the easy way out (earthquakes, sudden strong storms, a massive blizzard) in which case, you’ll need to leave on foot and quick. No matter what type of gear you use, the biggest thing is to get out AS FAST AS YOU CAN. The longer you wait, the worse you’ll be off. So if the crisis is supposed to be long term, be the first out. Do not forget to arm yourself. This country no longer has a good moral base to speak of. Remember Hurricane Katrina. The thin veneer of society wears off very quickly. Train now on the art of escape and evasion. In the worst case scenario, you won’t be driving, walking, or biking down the street, you’ll be dragging a freaking out toddler, ducking in, out, and around objects dodging rioters and police seeking to enforce marshal law. Run yourself through mental scenarios, watch disaster movies (be picky on those), research past disasters, read books on this subject and train train train. Start now taking walks with your child to strengthen them. let the child carry a small lightweight backpack with a few snacks in it to get used to the weight. An earlier post mentioned playing games that teach the child to be quiet. Another good idea is to preposition supplies at your bug out location if possible. When bugging out, wear earthtone color gear and clothing so that if you have to avoid a threat, you can more easily blend in to the woods or a field. Bring a favorite toy that does not light up or make noise or candy to calm the child.
cam
I am not a single mom, but my husband works nights and I plan as if I am alone with our 3 kids. I plan to bug in until he can get to us. IF for any reason he cannot reach us, we would travel to him. So with that said, I plan on pulling a load with my 3 kids in tote. I have a wagon and a heavy stroller. Plan on using both if possible (my oldest can handle one and the middle child/me can handle the other. I need one of us to maintain my youngest so he is spooked. Even for those who are married, I am assuming that one of you works and if SHTF while the one is at work, what would you do (as a single parent). This is a very valid question and I hope this is part of your planning. Be safe and God speed.
He and I both work within 12 miles of home and it is basically a flat route home….just hope one of us (if not both) is with our children should anything happen. They each have an evac route of their own should they be in school when something happens.