Feb212012
INSTANT SURVIVAL TIP: “Don’t make me tell you again!”
Print 
PDF“This is the third time I’ve told you to take out the trash!”
“How many times do I have to tell you??”
“If I have to tell you one more time…”
image from graph-jam,
I always swore I’d never make statements like that as a mom, but of course I have. However, I’ve realized that in a crisis, I will need their immediate and focused attention and obedience. Here are two strategies I’ve used to train them to do this
- I noticed that the tone of my voice is pivotal to quick obedience. I generally have a very soft voice, and if you’ve heard any of my radio shows, you know that! I sometimes wonder if that makes it easier for my kids to ignore my directions and requests. So, what I’ve done is train them to recognize the difference in my everyday tone of voice and the one I would use in an emergency. I did this by demonstrating different tones of voice from, “Please empty the dishwasher,” to “Get out of the road NOW!” The key is instantaneous obedience. Rising flood waters just isn’t a good time for a kid to yawn and say, “Yeah, yeah. In a minute, MOM!”
- If a situation ever arises when a gun may be fired in our home, say in the event of a home invasion, I don’t want to worry about my kids being in the line of fire. If I’m the one armed and ready to protect my brood, hesitating just for a second could mean the difference between life and death for all of us. My kids know all about gun safety, so what I did was to sit down with them and explain how important it was for them to be out of the line of fire if an armed and dangerous person is ever in or near our home. Here’s what the are to do: drop to the ground immediately and without question. To rehearse this, on occasion I’ll yell, “Kids! Drop to the floor!” or just, “Kids! Drop!” Then, I check to make sure that wherever they are, they’ve dropped! I know, I know. It might sound crazy, but what’s crazier? Having innocent kids wandering around in a lethal situation or training them ahead of time to avoid danger?
By the way, I started teaching this to my kids when they were 8 and 10 years-old. The only reason I didn’t teach it earlier, is because I didn’t think of it!
Here’s what some people on the Survival Mom Facebook page have to say about this topic:
From Prudent Pantry: I am blessed with 5 kids, 4 of them have autism. I herd cats for a living 
BUT I have a special mommy voice that I use ONLY in emergencies that everyone attends to. I draw a clear line between hurry up we need to go to church and the house is burning down get out.
From Andrea Lynch: This is weird, but we have a sort of code word for our kids that means “this is for real, listen up.” Thought it might come in handy.
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(19) Readers Comments
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Heather Laurie
From the cat herder, I absolutely agree with the sound of your voice. The idea of training to hit the ground so there is no accidental injury in case of gun fire is important! Thanks for the idea!
God bless
Heather L http://www.prudentpantry.org
Mr. Read
Just a thought,… in the emergency response world we have gone away from "code" words more and more, and transitioned to "plain language." No more "10" codes, or whatever. In an emergency codes get confuse and forgotten, or at best take a minute for the brain to compute. I just use every day language, and agree that the tone of voice makes all the difference in the world.
Robin from the Roost
Great post! I think all moms have two voices. I never thought of the drop that’s a
great great idea.
SingleDad
My son (5 1/2) absolutely knows the difference between, the hustle up voice and the immediate obedience voice. For me it is not only tone but volume, I can make myself heard over the general murmur of our church pretty easily.
There are so many situation where IMMEDIATE obedience could be a potential life saver that I am amazed that so many parents that I see have lost total control of their kids, and someday their kids might pay for that…..very sad,
sharon Jolly
We should teach these to our teachers. I see so many children from a very early age to high school, tuning the teacher out, because their voice just drones on. Let them hear that voice a few times during the school year that could potentially save a life.
Chriss
As a mom of boys I use my listen now voice fairly regularly. We use the word "Freeze" if they need to stop in their tracks right then. We wanted words that were easy and short but not used all the time. I really like the " kids down" as it would seperate them from the down we use for the dogs. I am also working on the right wording for "we have to go get in the car now" emergency. I have a 3 year old a 1 year old and one on the way so we would likely now pick them up and run if needed but as they get older I think this is something they do need to learn.
traumamamma
Love the “freeze”…worked for my kids. I think, especially when dealing with little ones, that K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, sister) works so much better that something like “hurry up, kids, and get in the car…” (something that we say when we are going to the store). Most kids in general today have learned to tune out most of the things that parents say, so, perhaps “CAR NOW!” or DOWN NOW!” in your big girl voice would gain a better response.It is also VERY important that we can have our children be absolutely silent on command. That one is a tough one, and varies with each family based on your consistency with discipline Kids are often not given enough credit as to their understanding of adult situations, and, if approached with the utter importance of.compliance in an emergency by explaining the consequences of non-compliance, most children will “get it”. It must not be something that is expected on a moment’s notice, though, without having first explained the rules of the “event” and having practiced the “event”. Practice with your children often. If you include your children, even little ones, in your preparations for life-altering events, and practice often, it will become second nature to your children and make them feel included in the family survival, rather than feeling like puppies being ordered around. Little ones can incorporate learning their colors and numbers by having a red gamma top on the first aid bucket, a green top on the dehydrated veggies, a white top on the flour etc. They can help you
count cans of corn, or pairs of.socks for the bugout bag. They can help set up the tent in the yard for a trial run, then help assemble the smores for the backyard campout. It need not be terrifying. But practice is a must for anything that must come instinctually and instantly. Be sure to give your kids more credit and more praise for their contributions…you just may surprise yourself!
countrygirl
It's nice to know I'm not the only mommy out there that talks to the kids about what to do if there was a live fire situation. I would also recommend that you educate them on the difference between cover and concealment. What to do if you are in different locations and there is an emergency. I'll check with my older child periodically, where is the nearest exit, and could you pull the fire alarm on the way out to clear the building.
Nicole B.
My 27 month old definitely knows the difference in my "Nate…" and my "Nathaniel…". The first he ignores a couple of times, the 2nd he pays instant attention to. LOL!
Robin
I would like to add, when I was a child my mom, a single parent, taught me if she ever said run – she meant it. Whether she came or not I was to obey and run. She didn't scare me but she was teaching me. She was training me to obey at a moments notice. I never had to do it but I would have known what she expected of me if the situation had arisen.
Barb
Being from a military family, if my father roared or whispered "Fire In The Hole" we hit the floor. Wham! No thinking first, no gazing around. No whining nor backtalk. Just Wham. Only then do you look around to see if you needed to roll for cover, scramble for a weapon or start swimming.
He used it twice. Both times it very likely saved the life or limb of small children. With my children I have added warning orders such as "Out the back, now!" We've talked about these order words ahead of time so they know the seriousness of it and can follow without question. It's a Mom's job to preserve her children, even at the cost of her own life. To let her do this job, they must have orders they can trust blindly.
Carolyn
This is something I never gave much thought to, but I can see the logic and need for it. Just reading through the other comments shows it's a sensible thing to teach kids. Mine are a little older (16 & 12), but we'll be covering this in the days ahead, to be sure.
Ann
I think its important to have instant response to demands. A friend used STOP and her kids froze in spot. Her son's live was saved by that command. I also like DROP and the RUN mentioned. By accident HOT became the danger warning for my ds. I yelled hot as he tripped and fell against the hot oven door when he was a toddler. From that day forward if I told him something was HOT he would not touch it and I was careful to only use it for danger. So sticking fingers in the fan would be a HOT warning. Touching grandma's knicknacksonly warranted an NO.
Jeeper
Here, we use the old "Middle name" trick…if the girl's middle names are uttered, it's either "you're in a heap of trouble" or "Listen up, this is serious". Been training the almost two year old grandson, he's picking up quick. Never got around to training them to "duck" or "Drop"…fortunately, it's never been an issue…
L P
"To rehearse this, on occasion I’ll yell, “Kids! Drop to the floor!” or just, “Kids! Drop!” Then, I check to make sure that wherever they are, they’ve dropped! I know, I know. It might sound crazy, but what’s crazier? "
No, not crazy at all. This is exactly the type of drill that should be done. It's called "preparing". I applaud you for caring enough to appear crazy, and even more so for being effective in your training – and saving your kid's lives. BRAVO! Way ta go, Mom!
Bonnie
Not just for kids. Everyone should know to drop if a family member says to!
Yolanda
After living overseas for many years we returned to the USA with our three children for a period of three years. Two were elementary age and one was in middle school. While in the US we established a “Family Password.” This password was to be used if anyone would come up to them saying they were sent by us to drive them home or to take them to a certain place. They were required to ask whomever, “What is the Password!” even if they were friends of ours or relatives. This became a necessary precaution when we returned overseas as abductions and slavery escalated in the area we were living. With the increase of broken marriages and custody issues and visitation rights, having a family password is important. The children must never share the word with any of their friends or relatives–it must be made clear it is for their personal security.
Maureen
These are all great suggestions. I’ll be using them with my nieces and nephews. But may I suggest that kids be train in what to do if there is a situation and you aren’t there? With all the shootings at schools and other public places kids need to know what to do and the drills the schools do while helpful don’t nearly cover it all. Be Safe.
Bobby Jean
My great-grandmother used “shush!” during times of emergency, when the children had to be absolutely quiet. She raised a family on the wild, lawless prairies of America in the 1800′s and had plenty of opportunities to use it, too.