Is Your Spouse Survival Minded or a Skeptic?
Does your marriage ever feel like a rowboat with you and your spouse paddling in opposite directions? 
It’s impossible to reach a mutual goal if your goals aren’t mutual! The Paranoid Dad and I are polar opposites in many ways, but when it comes to preparedness, we have the same mindset. We’re both worried just enough about the future of our country to agree that taking steps to become more self-sufficient and prepared makes a lot of sense.
How about you and your significant other? Are you on the same page when it comes to prepping? Is one of you convinced it’s past time to prepare and the other more than a bit skeptical? If your spouse or significant other is the skeptic, I have a few suggestions for coaxing that sweetheart of yours’ on board.
- First, understand that most every dad in the world is concerned with the security of his family. The instinct to protect runs deep. Whether it’s the desire to protect his family from crime, economic hardship, or just a flat tire, most dads are just naturally wired that way.
- If the topic of preparedness seems to be completely closed, it’s probably because your guy is fearful of the future and fearful he may not be able to protect and provide for his own. It’s actually very touching when you think about it. Therefore, you’ll have far more luck winning him over with calm, matter of fact words than by launching into a hysterical appeal.
- Most men admire strong women, women who take the initiative. They also tend to be appreciative of just-the-facts and dread emotional conversations. If you can present him with a plan in writing, so much the better. Your plan could be a list of ways your family could cut back on expenses. I don’t know a single dad who would be opposed to that! Have some sort of plan in mind, whether it’s for a storm evacuation or food storage.
- Watch for conversation openings when a friend or family member loses a job or finds themselves in severe economic difficulty. Even if your own income is secure, ask him, “Have you thought about what we would do if you lost your job?” If this opens up a meaningful conversation, as opposed to, “Don’t say that kind of thing! I have a job, and I’m not gonna lose it!”, then you can begin with what should be the first preparedness step for any family, that of preparing for a possible loss of income.
- Current events offer the perfect opportunity to, again, talk about what-ifs. “What if it was our house in the pathway of a wildfire?” Watching events unfold on TV also provides great lessons in preparedness vs. the head-in-the-sand approach.
- Once you’ve caught his attention and he seems open to the idea of preparedness, begin with some of the steps in Preparedness 101 and other resources on this blog and others.
- It’s okay for this process to take some time. For some people, just the idea of preparedness and survival is too much because it opens the door to thoughts of a perilous and insecure future.
- It’s okay to begin this journey solo! Setting a small goal of having a month’s worth of groceries on hand is something you, as the Mom, would most likely be in charge of anyway. Tuck away a few extra dollars here and there, read aloud books to your kids that underscore the need for being self-sufficient, and learn all you can about survival and practical skills.
Fear is probably the biggest obstacle when people are confronted with the idea of planning for the future. Even though we expect our spouses to be strong and fearless, the truth is, they’re as worried about an uncertain future as we are. Preparedness begins with taking the smallest baby steps, however, and it’s amazing how the simplest step brings a degree of peace and relief, even in the face of a scary future.
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Thankfully my husband and I are on board together with our preparedness efforts. One thing I like to suggest to folks whose spouses aren’t completely keen on their prepping is to watch movies or read books that help put you in that mindset. What would we do if that were us? Are we prepared? By watching the scenario unfold in someone else’s life, it seems to help unsupportive spouses make important considerations.
I'm thankful as well that my wife and I are both aware of the realities of life and the necessity of being prepared. I tend to go a little bit farther on the 'likelihood of occurrence' scale than she does, but she puts up with me! The winter storm scenario that I describe on my blog is something that actually happened here in the pacific northwest last year. It was brutal. Thankfully we were prepared but we had to help out some neighbors and friends, and I can't even remember how many folks I pulled out of a ditch with my suburban.
I know you approach your blog from a mom's point of view, but as a husband and father, my perspective is that women tend to be easier to convince of the necessity of being prepared. In particular if you lay things out in a reasonable and not crazy fashion. Men on the other hand, myself included, tend to have an overly optimistic view of our ability to cope with emergencies and that can color our opinions when it comes to preps. I strongly believe a healthy partnership is critical, and approaching things in a reasonable, realistic, and non fear mongering way goes pretty far towards convincing the skeptics.
My husband is in his 70's. You'd think being a child of depression era parents, and his young years seeing WWII he'd understand shortages and know world wide disaster can happen. But, he's lived a comfortable American 20th century life. He's soooo not into preparing.
"But Babe, America is too secure." "But Honey, nothing like that has ever happened HERE." "If you don't stop spending so much on this stuff, I'm going to brick up the door to the pantry so you can't put more in there!"
*Sigh*
I just do it on the sly, and hide it under the bed, behind the couch, under the porch, etc. I shall save him and my children and grandchildren if it kills me.
Hi Barbara! There are a lot of reasons a person might not want to get into prepping, and one of them is simply not wanting to face reality. I'm not sure if that would describe your husband, but it's something I see every day. On the surface, life is pretty much the way it's always been, and if you aren't paying attention to current events, then yes, America IS secure!
Whatever you're setting aside, Barbara, won't go to waste, and hopefully, your husband is right!
I think people I spoke to recently are burned out on prepping, as y2k came to be nothing; much food then was donated to food banks as people decluttered..recently several told me they weren't doing anything as they are in their 60's and food shortages never happened in their lifetime. People do plant gardens for health reasons/hobby. We're in a hurricane area and people store two weeks supply if they're smart. There has been too many experts cry wolf, and people just don't see the need in prepping that I talk to. Several people passed away since y2k, and family members got rid of all the preps, incl a wood stove..sold or donated. Laura
Lara, probably everyone who reads my blogs and others like it hope that the predictions of economic meltdowns are exaggerated and never happen. I know I do! Personally, I'd love to find some of that old Y2K stuff at a garage sale!
I'm on the flip side of this equation: husband and father of two who sees what's happening in the country and realizes that the next several years won't look like the last several. My wife, on the other hand, doesn't see it and doesn't want to: she's the first to call me "Mad Max" if I so much as suggest doubling the size of our garden or buying a freezer. I've decided to just do the things I need to do, while respecting her and not rubbing her face in it, but man it's a hard and lonely road sometimes…
Ditto. My wife, although not openly opposed to my preps, considers me to be ‘unusual’ and irrational about the future.
But she’s never witnessed or lived through an economic disaster. I have, and I’ll never be the same again.
The financial cost of preparing now is unbelievably cheap compared with the price you’ll pay for being unprepared. Believe me, it’s WAY too painful to risk not being prepared. The consequences are too grave.